Stephen Metoxen sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with him. People liked his parents, and they really liked his brother David, so why didn’t they like him? Was being different so bad? Even as a young child he understood cruelty versus kindness. He thought he was a kind person. He didn’t like making people feel bad, quite the opposite. He would much rather be the source of someone’s smile than their tears. He often worried that wasn’t enough. He worried that there was something broken or missing inside of him. He didn’t know what it could be or how to fix it, only that it affected how his peers treated him.

 Steve had been aware at an early age that he was unusual. Other boys his age were loud and disobedient. They spent their outside breaks playing basketball or chasing each other around the school’s play area. Sometimes they would spend it chasing Steve, cruelly throwing names like ‘nerd’ or ‘baby’ at his back. Not that the names themselves were cruel, only their intent. Steve learned to find a spot where they wouldn’t find him, sometimes the inside of the cement tube near the back of the play area, where he could read in peace.

His favorite books were about science, invention, and exploration, particularly those tomes that described in detail how things work. He was adept at taking things apart and putting them back together, much to his parents’ dismay. While they would have preferred Steve not disassemble the radio or his mother’s sewing machine, they tolerated his interest. It is doubtful however, that they would have been as acquiescent had he been unable to reassemble each item perfectly.

What Steve cared about most was his family. Within their close-knit unit, Steve’s older brother David shone brightest. Ten years older than Steve, Dave was tall and good-looking and walked through life with confidence and ease. Steve often marvelled at his brother’s ability to charm everyone he met. Allure was Dave’s strongest natural talent followed closely by athleticism. Dave’s teachers trusted he would succeed in life no matter the grades they gave him, which were always mediocre at best.

After David was born the boys’ parents did not believe they would have another child. Their mother endured two miscarriages, dreams of a large family leaving their hearts as the babies left her body. Stephen had been an unexpected and happy surprise; many couples in a similar situation could be tempted to spoil and smother such a child, but not Judith and Gerald Metoxen. They loved their boys equally and treated them with indistinguishable respect and encouragement.

David moved out of the family home at age eighteen, two months after his graduation from high school. Steve was only eight at the time and struggled to understand why his brother had to leave. He did not feel that David and his girlfriend Dana needed to live anywhere but with him. Dave tried to explain that he was an adult and wanted his own home with the woman he was engaged to marry. It was a difficult conversation for them both.

“You know I love you, little bro,” David said in his smoothest Big Brother voice, “but it’s time for me to live my own life. That doesn’t mean I’ll never see you again, heck,” he laughed, “I’m only a ten-minute walk away.”

Steve scolded his brother. “It won’t be the same and you know it. It’s stupid for you to leave.” He fixed his large, brown eyes on David. “Dana can sleep in your room and you can move in here with me,” he said entreatingly.

Dave sighed and smiled fondly at Steve. “I know it’s hard for you, kiddo, but please give it some time. Let’s see how you feel at Christmas, yeah?” He reached out and ruffled Steve’s hair.

Steve was too upset to allow the familiar display of affection. He brushed Dave’s hand away, giving his brother his hardest stare. He felt hurt and discarded. Lurking at the back of his mind was the notion that his brother was right, it was time for him to go, but Steve ignored, then buried the thought.

The brothers were sitting on the twin bed in Steve’s room. It was covered by a thick quilt their mother had sewn. Steve looked down and picked at a loose thread. He felt he should hug his brother and tell him he loved him, but he did not. Instead he stood abruptly and left the room without saying a word.

After his little brother was gone, David sat, looking around his favorite room in the house. Next to the small room’s only window stood a slightly worse-for-wear bookshelf. Every available space was taken up by books. More were piled in stacks on top and looked as though they could avalanche down at the merest touch. The shelves were the only untidy spot in the room. Steve kept his space neat and clean, contrary to his brother’s more slovenly habits.

The walls were full of newspaper and magazine clippings covering topics from space exploration to auto mechanics. Dave knew his brother was intelligent and loved to know how things worked. It spooked him sometimes because Steve was only eight years old. When David was that age, all he cared about were horses and fishing. He had not spent hours carefully dismantling electronics, diagramming them, and putting them back together.

David sighed again and closed his eyes. He breathed in the little kid smell of the room and felt his eyes prick with tears. Leaving wasn’t as easy for him as he pretended to his brother. He would miss reading stories to Steve before bed, even though they both knew Steve was a more advanced reader. It was a comforting brotherly ritual they had practiced since Steve was an infant. Dave would also miss their parents and their expressions of loving exasperation whenever Steve borrowed something to see how it worked.

David may be the eldest, but he knew Steve was the star of the family, and rightly so. He had never begrudged Steve his intellect. Dave was happy with himself as a person, and appreciated his little brother. He opened his eyes, having decided enough was enough. He was leaving home to start a new life with Dana. Dana... Thoughts of her cheered his mood and brought a smile to his face. He stood, gave the room and nod farewell, and left.